Growing Together

Introduction:

This was originally written in 2021 for a digital storytelling platform for florists called Floralkin. I have referenced it so many times in the past few years, I would like to now include it on my own website.

Enjoy.

At the beginning of 2017, I began designing florals for weddings under the heading of my own studio. Later that year, I also gave birth to our first son, Dallas. At first, both were manageable. The baby human needed food, sleep, and loving affection while the young business required only periodic attention as it wobbled from one fledgling opportunity to the next. But then there was growth for both, and that changed things.

We now have two little boys (1.5yrs and 3.5yrs), both of whom need constant guidance. The studio, too, has grown from quietly designing flowers for friends’ events into the scrutiny or admiration of public awareness. The constant growth creates constant change which goes hand in hand with continual discovery. A world of beauty and success beckons. All I have to do is engage it constantly, unreservedly, and without faltering….Can I do this ? I want to. But what about my boys?

Almost every time I take my kids with me to run errands, someone will gesture to their little sweet faces and say, “Mine were that age yesterday. It goes by so fast.” But during a busy production week or in the wake of a particularly stirring presentation from my business group, all I want to do is to produce, to work, and to perform. I love what I do through and through and there are moments when I can hardly bear to tear myself away. But love is not the only driver. There is also fear, the fear of being left behind while I stay home and care for my babies.

There is also fear, the fear of being left behind while I stay home and care for my babies.

As I watch friends in the wedding industry (not necessarily florists) devote day after day of uninterrupted hours to the development of their brands, I feel a twinge of longing. I am not so far removed from the days of being single and childless that I don’t remember with some wistfulness the fluid freedom that time of life allowed. Outwardly, I celebrate my industry friends’ well-deserved milestones while inwardly, I wrestle with the fear that the needs of my children will hold me back until I am left alone in the spotty progress that occurs during a day partially dictated by the needs and whims of a boy and a toddler. But this faulty mindset only occurs when I am so focused on a single stone in my path, that I forget to look up and see the landscape that surrounds me. I knew that raising a family while growing a business would be difficult. What I did not realize was how these two endeavors would inform each other for good.

Raising kids while developing my studio has led to greater clarity and concentrated focus in my business. The presence of the boys’ grubby hands, incomprehensible words, and glowing faces compel me to decide my value as a florist. I do not waste time on projects I am not excited about or with clients who I cannot serve well. My beautiful boys give me the motivation I need to balance life and work, and both my life and my work are better because they coexist.

…my children have actually guided and stabilized the direction of Emily Kaye Floral Atelier.

Every day I struggle to let go of a perceived ideal: that success comes only when I can singly focus on my business. On the contrary, my children have actually guided and stabilized the direction of Emily Kaye Floral Atelier. When I step away from comparing my journey to other’s, I see the richness of my life filled with flowers and family. I see how good it is for the boys to observe their mother pursuing her passions. I see that my boys positively influence the studio and the way I serve my clients. It’s not easy in the moment, but I will continue to work to let go of the belief that it is impossible for my boys and my business to grow healthy and strong together. I believe that they are healthier and stronger because they are growing together.

Afterward:

Only this week I saw this comment under the original post on Floralkin. It is a generous comment because her vulnerability strengthens my resolve to not give up the time that I spend at home for the sake of more or better working days—

“I wanted to do both as well. My business doubled every year. My boys grew up fast like everyone says. I had a house cleaner and workers in the flower shop. There will always be wedding and corporate work I did both. I'd give anything to go back and work less. I can't even remember one of my sons eighth year.”